Scam Gag

Have you ever had an encounter with a Craigslist scammer? They are a frequent nuisance when searching for housing in Bellingham. What follows is a transcript of my email conversation with a Craigslist scammer over the course of 3 days.

TO: Carol Cron

FROM: Uncle Graham

SUBJECT: Craigslist Ad - $500 Single-Family Home for Rent (Bellingham, WA)

This house sounds like a great deal. What is its location, and when would be a good date and time for me to check it out?

-Uncle Graham

Hello,

God bless you for your interest about our House. This 1BR/1B is still available for rent.
I am renting this house to a responsible and neat person or family who has the fear of God and treat my house as his or her own.

Presently Myself and my wife have moved out of the house due to my work transfer to Western Region in Africa and we will be away for good 5 years or more and this is reason why we are actually renting it out so if you are interested in taking good care of our house, then my family will be ready in accepting you as our new tenant who be fully in-charge of our house.

If you really impress us by taking good care of our house then you will be allowed to stay as long as you wish okay.....This 1BR/1BT And 1bedroom house 1 bath. Ready to move in...

Below is our address of the House:

(1315 West Illinois Street, Bellingham WA 98225)

So get back to us on how you could take care of our house or perhaps experience you have in renting . Hope you are okay with the price of US$500/month with heat laundry facilities, air condition and so on and the deposit fee is $500... PETS ARE FULLY WELCOME! We are looking forward to hear from you ASAP.

So that will can forward you an Application to fill out and discuss on how to get the House for rent and also the Entrances keys and the document of our house,also are you ready to rent it now or when? Await your urgent reply. Thanks for your understanding.

Please if you are ready now to occupy the house kindly provide the information below for record purpose.

THE RENTAL APPLICATION FORM

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF
Full Name__________________________________________________
Home Phone ( )________________________
Date of Birth_________________________________
Other Phone ( )___________________
Current Address_______________________________Apt#________ City__________________ State______ Zip________
Reasons for Leaving____________________________Rent $__________
Phone ( )____________________________

Social Security Number_________________
Are you married____________________________
How many people will be living in the house____________________________
Do you have a pet____________________________
Do you have a car___________________________ _
Occupation____________________________
Move In Date__________________________

Thanks very much for your understanding.

Carol

I have my reservations about this house, Carol. I am a God fearing man with an obedient wife and 5 children. How can you be a God fearing woman when you are married to another woman? Don't you know that homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of or lord and savior, Jesus Christ?

Also, how many rooms does it have? I have 5 kids to feed.

-Uncle Graham

It was my husband that type down the content of the message and i was just trying to see if i can get a tenant for the two of us.. So i am not homosexual.... The room is just a single room and a single bathroom

I am glad to learn that you are not a lesbian. Is your husband a lesbian? Also, after doing a head count, I realized that I only have 4 children.

Is the house gas or electric heating?

-Uncle Graham

Gas

Another question. Are you ok with pets? We have a dog and his name is Mr. Puddles. I think that he has scabies or mange or something, but he is GREAT WITH KIDS and doesn't make messes...much. Attached is a picture of him with my wife, Glenda. Isn't he adorable?

-Uncle Graham

Yes...fill out the application form so that we can proceed further.

Before we proceed any further, I am legally required to inform you that I am a registered sex offender. I hope that is not a problem, Carol. It was all a big misunderstanding a few years ago between me and a particularly provocative octopus at The Seattle Aquarium.

Also, can you send the application again? I think I lost it. I'm not too good with computers, and I think mine is low on typing fluid.

-Uncle Graham

I will send you the information once i get to public library.my computer has just crashed

How were you able to email me back if your computer crashed? Did you run out of typing fluid?

-Uncle Graham

I was on my phone

Dear Carol,

I'm sorry for my late response, Carol. My computer crashed too, it got ice cream in the drive belt.

Let's skip these formalities. I have done much prayer and realized that I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU from the first moment I Yahoo people searched you and found out you were a 65 year old woman to the time of sending this email. I think that you feel the same way too, Carol. I will leave my wife and 3 kids for you, and you can leave your husband for me. Together we can live in your cozy one bedroom one bathroom house and live off the fat of the land.

Attached is a picture of my true form. Meet me at the food court of the bellis fair mall in two hours. I will be there, dressed like Indiana Jones and waiting with my van.

Eternally Yours,

-Uncle Graham

Bye

Carol, I waited for you at bellis fair mall for 5 hours until I was removed by security because I was screaming your name throughout the food court. Why didn't you come see me? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU? If I don't have your love, then I have nothing. I can't live without you, and don't forget that I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Heartbroken,

-Uncle Graham